Dear My Favorite ICU Patient,
I know you’re uncomfortable. It really sucks when your heart stops and you have to get CPR, and you have to be intubated. And it does suck when that means you can’t eat for a few days. And I know you wanted to eat something immediately after we pulled the tube. But we were worried that anything you ate would end up in your lungs instead of your stomach, and we’d be back to the tube and back at square one.
Usually, a cup of sherbet is not an unreasonable request. And it must have really sucked when we told you you couldn’t have one until we were sure that you could protect your airway.
I understand your anger.
But, may I suggest something radical?
Perhaps defecating into a bowl and flinging it at your medical team is not the most constructive way to express your displeasure.
I hope you feel better soon.
Lesson: When someone flings a bowl of feces at you while you’re working, and you still love your job…..that means you love your job.