Nice to see you’re still here.
Yes, I am aware that it’s been a while since I posted, and an even longer while since I’ve posted any writing- or medicine-related articles.
No, I have not forgotten about this blog.
No, I have not lost interest in writing for this blog.
No, I don’t consider myself officially “on hiatus”.
It’s just been hard for me to do much outside of residency these days. When I have the energy, I don’t have the time. When I have the time, I just don’t have the energy.
I’ve just flipped into my third year, which is apparently the hardest year in my program. My schedule cuts me off from family, friends, and hobbies. I have learned that two days off in a row feels equivalent to the way a two-week vacation used to feel. A large proportion of my daily thought process is devoted to optimizing my sleep schedule, and figuring out what and when I can eat next. I haven’t read a novel for months. I’m shocked at how excited I get when I have the time to load and run my dishwasher, and how even more excited I get if I can do it when it won’t wake up my neighbors. Any leisure time I do have, I’m much more likely to spend unproductively, rather than making headway on my novel (sitting untouched and lonely at 50,000 words) or this blog, or any of my other non-work-related projects. It’s just hard to muster the energy or the enthusiasm, knowing I’ll just have to drop it again after an hour or so, not to be revisited for weeks or even months.
The good news is, it’s only one more year. I get to start counting down the months. I’m working on my fellowship application tonight; I’m going for a Palliative Care fellowship. (All of my writing time in past weeks has gone into my personal statement.) I’m still committed to Internal Medicine as well as underserved populations, although I’m having trouble figuring out exactly how to fit my life together in a satisfying way in the current environment. I’ve started daydreaming about giving physiology lectures, though, so I guess I’ll end up somewhere where I can teach as well as doctor. (I’m clearly my parents’ child.) I’ve also started thinking about medical consultation for film and TV as a side project, because that just sounds like fun. Also, the cat is still alive, and still merrily puking her way through my apartment.
Back to the point.
People tell me there’s life after residency. I have decided to believe them. I do hope to make this blog a part of it, because I have a lot of fun with it and people seem to like it well enough. So please don’t give up on me if I don’t post for long stretches…
It’s only one more year.
Twelve. (11.75, if we want to be super-technical.)
PS: Fourth-of-July stats: 100% confused-little-old-lady dump. 8 out of 8 admissions.