…you’re in the ER doing a history and physical on your last patient of the night (who is refusing treatment for her overwhelming asthma attack and is telling you all about how much crack she was smoking last night between soul-numbing wheezes) and suddenly outside you hear a chorus of:
“Peak flow contest! Peak flow contest! Who’s in?”
Followed by a bunch of grown men all enthusiastically trying to one-up each other by blowing into a tube that measures the strength of their exhalations……complete with grandstanding, unbridled cheering, and overly-congratulatory fist-bumps.
Oh, ER docs……where’s a gunshot victim when you need one?
(But let’s not be too hard on them….they had a poop-geyser situation only a few hours before. And the housekeeping staff doesn’t even clean the floors very well, let alone the ceiling….)