How To Avoid Killing Non-Imaginary Spoon Avocado

Look at this kitteh.

Her is a sweet kitteh. Not to be judging teh kitteh's admittedly absurd name, tanks.

Her is my brudder’s kitteh.

As of Friday, her is MAH kitteh.

I haz never hazzed kitteh before. (I iz allergic to kittehs.)

I haz especially not hazzed kitteh with perfectly normal name like Spoon Avocado before.

Pleez to be giving advice on how to make sure kitteh still kickin when my brudder get back in July?


Mah brudder sure lurves his kitteh.

Published in: on January 17, 2012 at 5:35 am  Comments (14)  

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  1. You haz never hazzed kitteh before, so we splain this to you. You not haz kitteh. Kitteh be grashus nuf to let you live with kitteh. You show gratitude for honor by keeping food dish full and litter box clean. If you are good hooman, you be allowed to give skiritches. If you are very good hooman, you be used as kitteh bed.

    • what she said…a small addendum: clean the litter box daily or you will not be a happy grasshopper.

  2. I know that whenever grashoppers get into our house, the kitty who’s been living with us for 16 years has an awful lot of fun playing with them!

    Be sure you take your allergy medicine!

  3. What everyone else has said, plus:

    Will you be able to use the same vet? If so, that’s a great help even if you never actually need to take Spoon Avocado there. Most vets I’ve known were v good at calming cats and their humans. With any luck you won’t need any vet visits–most cats are pretty healthy critters. And you could trade diagnostic stories with someone whose patients tell them NOTHING–well, with words.

    One usually non-serious but kinda scary thing is the hairball upchuck. A friend who’d never seen it happen before thought the cat was convulsing and dying. Nope, just getting rid of swallowed hair. Spoon Avocado looks like a shorthair, so there may not be much of that.

    Make sure you have cat toys, both for Spoon’s sake and your own.

    Pet the kitty.

  4. One more thing: Watch out when you open the door! Kittehs can be escape artists, especially in unfamiliar places.

    • Definatly. Watch out for that.

  5. Teh good news is, kittehs is tough, like the ficus or cactus of petland. Kitteh not ask much. Bowls of water (clean and always full) bowls of food (two or three a day, NOT always full, though Kitteh thinks it should be) regular poop-box (cleaned regular-like).

    Kittehs not ask for pettins. Kittehs DEMAND pettins. You will know when kitteh needs pettins. But brush kitteh with special hair-catchin’ brush every few days for allergic human’s sake, hokay?

    (In more human-thinky terms- is this an indoor, outdoor, or both cat? That’ll affect things like flea treatments and the like.)

  6. What everyone else said plus this: Take allergy med EVERY DAY in the morning or you will be utterly miserable and think that your sinuses are going to be scraped off.

    Clean the litter box.

    Change the water once a day.

    If your cat is like mine then make sure that the food bowl is always full. If it’s a glutton then don’t.

    DO NOT let kitty sleep on your bed no matter how much they want to. Your sinuses will thank me.

    Pet the kitty.

    BRUSH THE KITTY. Be careful of hair but it’s better to brush the kitty then to not brush the kitty. (I have experience…)

    If the door is open even the tiny-est crack the kitty will get in.

    Indoor or outdoor? Make sure to give stuff like flea medicine and stuff when they need it.

    Cat toys…. my kitty likes catnip filled mice but who knows what your kitty likes? Ask your brother.

    Cat treats if the kitty likes it.

    Spoon avocado. ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€

    Welcome to the joys of cat ownership!!! ๐Ÿ˜€

  7. No kitthes for moa, tank yous verry much. But I do know a thing or two about the allergies. Newsflash for everyone! It’s not the hair. Brushing SA is probably still a good idea, but its the dead skin particles that make you, me and so many other allergic people miserable e-ve-ry day.
    (ps, do not leave edible/non edible, meatlike foodstuffs within super_cat_jumping_distance(c) for your kitteh WILL climb the table/counter top/fridge/whatever you put said foodstuff on)

  8. Let me tell you something vewwy important about kittehs and rules. When you teach the kitteh it is not allowed in your bedroom (the only way to keep the kitteh from sleeping on your bed) the kitteh will remember: “human not happy when I is in this room” and the kitteh will still try to go there when you is not around. Same goes for all other rules. Unless you make it impossible (lock doors and put away food in fridge or cupboard), the kitteh will climb on everything, sleep everywhere, eat everything and if litterbox is not clean or the kitteh is not happy about something, piss everywhere it likes.

  9. Awwwwwww…. cute kitteh!!

    What everybody else said. XD Cats are mostly pretty easy pets… food, water, clean litter box, warm spots to sleep, and cuddles upon demand, and they’re good to go. Regular brushing will cut down on or prevent the aforementioned hairball upchuck, and the only way to keep kitteh off your bed is to ban her from the bedroom.

    Me, I’d take the pill and snuggle the cat. They make awesome vibrating foot warmers!!

  10. I recomend renaming the kitten.

    If it makes you feel any better, most professional animal types also have to take a lot of allergy pills.

    Oh. And pets and children reflect their owners. She will teach you more about yourself than anything else can. Smart women pay attention to the way a man treats his cat (works for men too).

  11. what everyone else said and one more teensy thing…. If you take a nap and awaken to the feeling of knives being gouged into your flesh ( and you will) please do NOT move quickly or you may find yourself disemboweled… If this happens, kitteh will eat you. Move slowly and carefully and pull each sharper than a kitana claw out of your body while whispering, NOT screaming like a little girl, sweet nothings to kitteh…. VOE here.
    Oh and really?? Spoon Avocado?

    • Yes. Spoon Avocado.

      Blame my brother.

      And thanks for the advice!

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